Alma Jones

A lot of happy single people become an emotional mess once they get involved with someone else. Yes, relationships are hard; after all, it involves two people with different backgrounds, two people who, at one point or another, will have a difference in opinion. Given the unavoidable argument that is sure to come about one day, it is important for you to stay happy as yourself before you can be happy while in a relationship. Your happiness should not depend on your partner alone. Instead of trying to squeeze out happiness from your partner, why not bring in the happiness yourself?

Below are a few things you can do to stay happy (and keep your partner happy in the process):

• Get some alone-time. No guy wants a clingy, needy girlfriend. An independent woman who does not lose herself in a relationship is someone guys naturally like, arguably because it keeps the pressure off them. If you are happy only when you are together, it might make your partner feel tied down and suffocated. Keep doing the things you love doing. If you do something that makes you happy and your boyfriend finds out, it will make you even more intriguing in his eyes.
• Admit to yourself that you will not be able to control every single emotion. When your spouse or boyfriend blows you off for an important meeting, it’s of course natural for you to be upset. You try not to be, but you can’t help feeling bad about being second to his work. You feel even worse because even when you know he had no choice and you are still his number one priority, you seem to be irrationally demanding – again. Don’t sweat it; emotions are sometimes beyond your control. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling that way. After all, it’s not the emotions, but the actions that go with them, that you should always (or at least most of the time) keep under control.
• You can tell your partner everything – just don’t expect him to react the way your girlfriends do. Women have this unrealistic expectation that men should think like women. No, he will probably not provide the same kind of support your girlfriends do. He has his own way of expressing his love and concern. If you want him to react in a specific way, tell him – and he’ll be more than thankful that you are showing him how he can make you happy.

When you are having problems with your partner, it brings about a degree of unhappiness that seeps into all aspects of your life. You may no longer enjoy your work as much, you seem to be less effective doing household chores, and even your friends feel that something is definitely bothering you. It is a sad fact that no matter how you try to compartmentalize your life, your relationship with your chosen one will influence everything else. Making things more complicated by being clingy and needy will simply make things worse. Instead, let up on the pressure. Be happy even when he’s not acting like the ideal guy you’ve always expected him to be. He’s just human, after all.